Too Hexy For Her Hat by Susan Hayes

3

New adventures,the cards had told her.

She was going to burn the whole damn deck. This wasn’t an adventure. It was a nightmare. Cupid had attacked her, and now she was supposed to fall in love with some random warlock she’d only just met.

At least he was hot. She’d already noticed that, so she knew it wasn’t the whammy Cupid had hit her with messing with her head. He was tall with dark hair that fell in tousled waves around his face. His very handsome—with perfectly chiselled cheekbone and dimples—face.

Then he grinned at her and parts of her that had been in hibernation for the better part of her adult life suddenly flared to life and did a happy dance.

“So, this is awkward. I feel like we need to do introductions again.” He held out his hand, and she took a moment to notice the long, tapered shape of his fingers.

Her heart was hammering against her ribs as she took his hand and summoned up a smile she hoped didn’t show how utterly stunned she was. “Hi, I’m Luna Fortuna. Er… Luna Storm. Fortuna is a work name. I read tarot cards. This is weird. How do you feel about fudge?”

His fingers closed around her hand, and a thrill chased up her arm. “Hi, Luna. I’m Chadwick Parker. It’s really nice to meet you, too. And I love fudge. Are you a morning person?”

She laughed. “Not until mornings start a lot later in the day, no.”

To her delight, his smile broadened, and for a moment it was like the sun had risen again. Music swelled from somewhere overhead—a dramatic, tender tune that sounded alarmingly like a made-for-TV soundtrack.

“What is that?” Chad asked, looking up without letting go of her hand.

“You hear it too?”

“Uh huh.” His eyes widened, and she realized one was blue and the other was a shade of brown so dark it looked black. “Do you think that’s part of the package?”

“We have our own soundtrack?” She didn’t know whether to laugh or scream, and what came out was a little of both.

“I think we do, which is six shades of weird. Want to get out of here and see if it’s just a localized effect?”

“Fuck yes. But where? Do you think anyone else can hear it?”

Beaker fluttered down and landed on her shoulder. “Hear what?”

“Music. When Chad smiled at me, I heard music, and so did he.”

“Oh, you got the dramatic effects bonus pack. Wow.” Beaker sounded impressed, which wasn’t endearing him to her.

“You know what this is?”

“God-level magic. Destiny. Fate. All that.” Beaker fluffed his wings.

“Fate is a bitch, and I don’t want a destiny. I thought we’d covered that.”

Chad gave her an odd look that immediately morphed into a lopsided smile that made her brain go gooey. “Not a fan of Fate?”

“Nope. I want to make my own choices.” She fixed him with an intent look, needing to see how he reacted to that. It would be important. Cupid whammy or not, she wasn’t falling for someone who was happy to surrender their life to the whims of Fate, Chance, and Destiny.

“I feel the same way.” Every word had the ring of truth to it, and the music suddenly swelled to a dramatic crescendo before dying away again.

Beaker interrupted. “Luna, darling witch-o-mine, what you want ceased to be relevant the moment the diapered sniper doused you and the warlock in love juice. This is going to happen. Trust me. I’m not happy about it either. I was hoping your true love’s familiar would be a pretty raven I could dazzle with shiny rocks.”

Chad’s familiar poked her snout out of his pocket. “Not a chance, featherhead. You’ll have to get your flock on somewhere else. Preferably far away from me.”

“No problem, scale-tail. You are so not my type.”

“Guys? I can only deal with one relationship crisis at a time, and frankly, mine takes precedence.”

“Agreed. Hissy. Zip it,” Chad said.

“So, where to?” Luna asked.

“I think this conversation is going to require privacy and pizza.”

“Now you’re talking. Throw in some fudge and make it anywhere but your place or mine, and we have a plan.” She needed to go somewhere quiet and regroup. Or hide. Regroup sounded more adult, though.

“I have an idea.” He tugged on her hand, and she moved a step closer to him. Close enough she could smell his aftershave. It was nice. Subtle. Spicy. Gingerbread? Her forever-after smelled like cookies. Dammit. She liked gingerbread. Fate wasn’t playing fair.

“What’s this idea?”

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

She gave him her best “are you for real” look. “We just met. No. I don’t trust you.”

“Fair enough. There’s a beach I know. It’s not far. Quiet. Pretty. Not isolated but private. You. Me. Pizza. Fudge. Talking.”

“And if you try anything I will zap you bald.”

He winced. “Threat noted and respected. So. Will you trust me to transport us there?”

She had to shake her head to stop herself from staring at his mouth as he spoke. Soft, full lips. A voice that could melt butter. She was pretty sure she’d let him take her anywhere he wanted to…

Shit.

“It’s starting,” she murmured. “So, yes, we need to get out of here. Now.”

“Your wish is my command.” He pulled her into his arms. Music played, the stars came out and danced in the night sky, and then they were somewhere else.

Sand. The smell of pine trees and the ocean. The steady hiss and murmur of waves on the shore.

Luna took a deep breath and glanced up at Chad. He was looking down at her. With a word he tightened his grip, drawing her up against what she discovered was a delightfully hard, muscular body.

“It’s definitely starting,” he whispered.

A saxophone solo began to play somewhere in the distance. Beaker made a strangled croak of awkward horror and flew off.

“It is.” She swallowed hard. “But unless you know how to break the magic of a god, I think we’re going to have to roll with it.”

“But is that what you want?” Her skin was on fire and fireworks were going off inside her tummy, which was probably doing serious damage to the butterflies that were already in residence.

“I never got the chance to find out, but I think it might have been. If we hadn’t been juiced by stupid Cupid the sarcastic sniper of doom first.”

He chuckled. The low, deep sound turned parts of her brain to mush. “Not sure I agree with the doom part. Maybe he did both of us a favour.”

“Maybe.”

Warm fingers brushed her cheek, and then he dropped his head to kiss her. He was tender at first, restrained and gentle.

Then the music swelled and even the waves seemed to be whispering, “Kiss, kiss, kiss,” as they rolled ashore. Need tore through her and she rose on her toes to kiss him back, one hand stealing up to clasp the back of his neck.

He groaned something. It might have been her name, but she was too swept up in the moment to be sure. Words didn’t matter anymore. All she needed was more of him. More touching. More kisses.

His arms tightened around her, crushing her against him. She moaned, and the moment her lips parted, he took the kiss deeper.

Holy hells and silver bells, the man could kiss. Discretion went for a long swim in the ocean and took restraint with it. She wanted to sink down into the sand with Chad or maybe climb him like a tree. Could she do both? Damn, she was tempted to try.

That’s when something started to hiss like a balloon rapidly running out of air.

Chad cursed, raised his head and leaned back without letting go of Luna. “Shit. Sorry, Hissy Fitz.”

“Ssso you should be. I’m flatter than roadkill right now.” Hissy poked her head out of Chad’s pocket. “If you’re going to get up close and personal with this witch you barely met, the least you could do is remember to take me out of your pocket first.”

“Sorry.” Chad plucked the serpent from his shirt. His familiar was less than a foot long, with green and brown markings and a single yellow stripe down her spine. She hung limply from his fingers as he carefully moved her to a nearby rock.

“You going to be warm enough? Do you need a blanket?” Chad asked the snake.

“Blanket? Are we staying that long?” Beaker demanded. She couldn’t see him. He was a black bird on an unlit beach full of shadows, but he wasn’t far away.

“We might be.” Luna summoned up a quick spell, creating a cute little fort out of a couple of towels and some driftwood. If anyone wandered by, they’d think it was something a couple of kids had made and then abandoned at the end of the day.

“There you go,” she said to both familiars.

“Is it soundproof?” Beaker demanded.

“It is. That way we don’t need to hear the two of you snark at each other.”

The air whooshed as Beaker swooped down, grabbed the snake in his claws and flew them both to the shelter. The last thing she heard was Beaker croaking, “For fuck’s sake, stop biting me. Would you rather have crawled over the sand to get here?”

“Is your bird going to eat my snake?” Chad asked, dusting her bottom lip with soft kisses.

“Not unless she’s made of chocolate.”

“Good. Then I vote we forget about them. I have something much more important to do right now.” The look he gave her was hot enough the sand could have turned to glass and she wouldn’t have been surprised.

“Yeah? What might that be?”

“More kissing. Then talking. Then more kissing. Possibly pizza.”

“And fudge.”

“I think we can combine those two requests. Have you ever had chocolate pizza?”

She’d been staring at his chest and wondering what he’d look like without his shirt, but his question snapped all her attention back to what he was saying. “Chocolate pizza? That exists?”

“It does. A little place not far from the square makes it. Chocolate hazelnut spread, caramelized bananas, whipped cream…” He arched a brow. “I’m pretty sure I can magic us up a passable version if you’d like to try it.”

“I think I love you.” The words were out of her mouth and in the wild before her filters had a chance to catch up.

“That’s just the love juice talking.” He winked at her and then pulled her in for another toe-curling kiss. The moon rose over the water, creating a dazzling trail of light across the ocean that hit them both like a spotlight on a stage.

“The moon’s not supposed to be full until next week,” she muttered.

“Platinum package again?”

“It has to be. Goddess in gumboots, that’s one hell of a spell.” Even if it was some kind of illusion only the two of them could see, it was far beyond the ability of any witch or warlock she knew.

Chad kept one arm around her waist and made a gesture with his other hand.


“The night is dark.

My witch is stressed.

Build us a place where we can rest.”


A stream of gold and orange sparks flew from his fingers and swirled across the sand. When the sparks faded away, another driftwood structure had appeared. It was almost entirely obscured by shadows. She was certain it hadn’t been that dark before, but now that part of the beach was almost invisible.

“I thought we’d be more comfortable inside and away from any nocturnal beachcombers.”

He caught her by the hand and led her inside the little fort. At least it looked small from the outside. The interior was larger. So much so that they had to descend several stairs to get inside and Chad, who was taller, could stand up easily once they reached the main floor.

The walls were all hung with swaths of purple silk over what looked like weather-worn driftwood, and lanterns emitted a cheery golden light from the corners. The floor was polished driftwood piled thick with rugs that matched the silk hangings with purple and black patterns that she belatedly realized were the same colour as her hair.

Hot, likes chocolate, kisses like a god, and had an eye for details? The more she got to know Chad, the less she cared that none of this had been her choice. Whoever had set them up seemed to know what they were doing.

She was still going to burn her tarot deck, though. In front of the other decks she owned as a warning to avoid giving her uselessly vague predictions.

Most of the space was taken up by a conversation area. A table sat between a black velvet divan and a wing-backed chair with enough padding it looked like it was about to burst its seams. Another table was already set out with an array of beverages—from wine to water and everything in between

Still holding Chad’s hand, she made her choice. The divan was big enough for two and she didn’t want to be separated from him.

Stupid Cupid’s love juice was messing with her head again.

“I think we need to come up with a better word than love juice,” she announced as they sat down.

“Agreed. Whammy water? Love potion?” Chad suggested. He claimed the side of the divan with the raised arm, draping himself over it and then tugging at her hand until she nestled in beside him.

It didn’t take more than two tugs to get her to move.

Stupid whammy water. Yeah. She liked that one. “Whammy water works for me.”

“Then that’s what we’ll call it.” Chad draped an arm around her shoulders and then pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Since you and I are apparently in this for the long haul, why don’t you tell me something about the witch I’m destined to spend forever with?”

She conjured up a batch of double-dark fudge and popped a piece into her mouth, letting the morsel melt against her tongue before speaking.

“Have you ever heard of a place called Wyrding Way?”